8 Ways to Navigate Grief During the Holidays
1. Get Creative
Creativity can bring light to your soul when things feel a little dark. Grab whatever art supplies you have in your house and let yourself play. If you don't have supplies at home, ask friends or family to lend you some materials or head to your nearest thrift store. Some thrift stores even have bags of art supplies that you can buy as a pack, and you might be surprised with what you find. The goal here isn't to make anything amazing or “refrigerator-worthy”. The idea is to experiment, play, and explore in a way that makes your inner child happy.
If you’re in the Nashville area, you can do this with me at the Inner Child Open Studio on 12/13/23!
Through connecting with your creative self, you may realize that creative expression feels like a great outlet for you. Art therapy might be a great fit for you to continue your grief processing journey.
2. Connect with Community
Grief oftentimes brings up feelings of loneliness and sadness. While it's important to give yourself space to feel those emotions, it's also valuable to get connected with the people around you. You can even brainstorm a list of people in your life who you could reach out to during this season. These people might include friends, family members, coworkers, acquaintances, etc. It might take a little bit of courage and vulnerability to reach out, but that person might be looking for some connection as well. Find a fun event to go to together or grab coffee at a cozy coffee shop nearby.
3. Let Yourself Feel the Emotions
As I mentioned above, it is important to leave space for yourself to be with your feelings. Just wishing they would go away or distracting yourself until they do usually doesn't give you what you needed. Typically when an emotion comes up, especially a less pleasant one, our mind and body might need us to acknowledge it, pause what we're doing, and just focus on the feeling for a minute. It might sound scary or unappealing to do this, but giving yourself the opportunity to acknowledge your feelings really can be a gift of kindness to yourself. Reminding yourself that what you're feeling is normal is a great way to practice self-compassion and self-kindness.
4. Embrace the Cozy
The coziness of this season is one of my favorite parts of the holidays. I think about the crackling fireplace and candles, soft blankets and socks, hot drinks, sweet snacks, and cozy (and cheesy) holiday movies. I don't know about you, but when I am feeling lonely or sad or I'm in the space of grief, it feels really comforting to grab a blanket, make some hot chocolate, and light a candle.
5. Journal
Even if you don't typically write, journaling can be a great emotional release for many of us. You don't even have to write anything that makes sense. You can write whatever thoughts come to mind, any feelings you have, and just put it all on the page. Getting your thoughts and feelings out of your head and onto paper can be a surprisingly powerful act. If you need a place to start, consider making a list of all of the feelings you're having right now. Try writing down memories are thinking of or even things that you miss. Give yourself a few minutes and see how you feel.
6. Write to Your Loved One
This activity can be challenging, and I encourage you to give yourself space to process and rest afterward. If the thought of doing this sounds overwhelming, you may choose to explore it with your therapist. You can do this activity in your journal or on a separate piece of paper. If it feels more accessible for you to type, go for it. When we lose somebody, we often miss the communication that we had with them. This activity can be a way for you to be with this person and to feel reconnected. There are no rules for this activity. However, I will give you a few things to keep in mind:
consider telling this person the mundane, day-to-day things going on in your life
share with them what feelings you're having about talking to them
reminisce on memories you have together
let yourself feel the emotions that come up
7. Give Yourself Compassion
Grief can be messy. Let yourself be messy without judgment. It's not your fault that you have all these emotions or that you are struggling right now. It's a normal experience AND it's really hard. Practice reminding yourself that it's okay to feel what you're feeling and that you're allowed to ask for help.
8. Set Boundaries
If there are certain topics that you know you are not ready to talk about when you're visiting family or spending time with friends, you may choose to let them know. While some may struggle with respecting your boundaries, you might be surprised at the way some people in your life want to respect you. Telling them what you need could really be a gift to your relationship with that person. Otherwise, they may not know how to best support you, even if they want to. After all, we aren’t mind readers (although, it would be nice...).
