3 Questions to Ask Yourself Instead of “Why Can’t I Relax?”
Reflecting on Rest
Recently, I facilitated a creative expression hour through Insight Timer. I was joined by 20 people located all over the world. The theme for the event was “Rest, Relaxation, and Rejuvenation.” I tasked everyone, including myself, with creating an image to represent what rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation meant to them. I encouraged everyone to consider what colors, images, and symbols came to mind. The image I created can be seen above.
Rest is something that I’ve been exploring in my life over the past year. As a recovering perfectionist, I often find myself pushing to work more, accomplish more, and be busy. I have a hard time sitting still and slowing down to have fun. Oftentimes, working is even more comfortable than resting, since it means I’m being “productive.” However, avoiding rest typically leads to exhaustion and overwhelm (for me). Knowing this about myself means that I am responsible for incorporating rest and relaxation into my life, and having the image above reminds me to do so.
I rest by sleeping, eating without distraction, playing with my dog, making art, sitting outside, and so much more. I’ve found that even a short amount of time can be effective in helping my mind slow down and feel rejuvenated.
“Why can’t I relax?”
It can be incredibly frustrating when you’re exhausted, stressed, and just want to relax, but your mind keeps moving. Instead of focusing on the frustration toward yourself, grab your journal and ask yourself these questions:
How do you rest?
Consider how you used to relax, how you currently relax, and how you want to relax. Consider different activities or exercises that might feel restful for you. These might include some of the examples I listed above, or you may have your own ideas of what has helped you rest in the past. If you’re having a hard time thinking of ideas, think back to when you were a kid or teen. What did you do then to rest? You might have played a game, spent time with friends, listened to music, made art, gone to a park, etc. How would it feel to try any of those activities as an adult?
What holds you back from resting?
Are there expectations, goals, fears, or other factors that get in your way? What would it look like to acknowledge those factors and give yourself the opportunity to rest anyway? There may be other factors that are more challenging to shift such as your work schedule, responsibilities at home, and even physical pain. In this sense, relaxing in a certain way may be a privilege. However, I challenge you to expand your idea of what rest and relaxation might look like, and consider how you can define the meaning for yourself.
How would more intentional rest help you?
If you built restful moments into each day, how might you feel? How would your life be different? Your stress and responsibilities may not disappear, but maybe you can find ways to approach them more mindfully. Then, take small steps toward incorporating restful moments into your life.
